The Mormon Mishpoka Are Coming! - pt 8

I divert a bit to tell you of a visit from my sweet cousin Michelle from Boston. Michelle said she was driving down to the city from Boston with her 5 kids, her husband, her sister visiting from Utah and her kids, plus a girlfriend and her kids, all to spend the day in the city sightseeing. Michelle asked me to join them. I was overjoyed to do so. I met them at 9 am in Central Park. These kids are the best behaved children I have ever met. Never a whine, or a complaint and not once did I hear, "buy me" or "I want that" or "can I have...."? They all had their own allowance money and the rule was if you want something, then you must pay for it with your money. If you don't have enough, don't ask us. It's your choice. They were really disciplined and buy 2:00 pm, they had yet to spend a dime. One of the kids had sold lemonade for weeks, sold handmade jewelery and one girl gave ballet lessons to children of church members for a couple of dollars a week. I just loved those kids. And to think, they are all my cousins one, twice, three times removed. I was picturing my Grandpop Frank, who used to dovin every morning with the Paes wrapped around his shoulders and the tvillin wrapped around his arm....'he must be turning over in his grave', as they say.

They called me when they arrived and had parked their car up near my apartment. I walked over to the park and met them. We walked downtown from 90th street thru Central Park, 'cause Michelle thought the kids would enjoy the park. Forget about it...they wanted TOYS R US, and Times Square, so we continued down to first show them Rockefeller Center at 50th street.
By then the kids were starved and exhausted. They had just walked over 50 blocks. Between the walk and their 4 hour car ride everyone collapsed on benches and started to eat their lunch. Each had a sandwich, drink, snacks, fruit,packed in their own backpack. They, not the adults, had made their own sandwiches, assembly row style the night before. That's the Mormon way when you have lots of kids. Probably the way for most families with lots of kids. I only had one child, so I always did as much as I could for Jen. Surprisingly, she is nevertheless, totally self-reliant. Michelle tells me she laid out the cheese, lettuce, cold cuts, snacks, etc.on a long table and then each child took a pre-cut sliced roll and made their own sandwich. They were told to wrap it, bag it, and refrigerate it with their name on the bags, ready to go in the morning. Funny thing is, not one child forgot to get their lunch out of refrigerator and put in their backpack. Only the Dad, Matt and teenage son, Hunter. Men!

After they ate we went schlepped over to Toys R Us. While walking we passed the famous Magnolia cupcakes and I dragged Michelle and Matt inside so they could take a tasting of samples. Once they tasted the 1 inch layer of creme on each cake, they had to buy some for the kids and was it ever a surprise when they came out of the store with a box full of cupcakes. They bought six and divided them up. Each child got a half and nobody whined for their own cupcake or complained that someone else had a bigger half. They just devoured what they had with smiles on their faces. Just amazing! That's Mormon kids. Be happy with what you get and thank God for providing it while you're at it.


I was supposed to go up to Boston next week, because Sage, the youngest girl, is getting baptized into the Mormon Church and even David, Michelle's Dad, and my first cousin, who did all the research on me, is coming in from Vegas for this big event. I cannot go for personal reasons, but I will miss not being able to see David. He is the most gentle kind man I have ever met. He took me around Hurricane, Utah last year where I got to see the polygamists in their cotton dresses and long braids. What a gas! David explains that though they are Mormons and belong to the Church of the Latter Day Saints they have nothing to do with those characters. He said Polygamists have been ex-communicated from the church but they still see themselves as Mormons. And so does the rest of the world as well, much to the dismay of the official Mormon Church. I still do not like some of the basic tenets of the church. At one time they were definitely prejudiced against blacks and today are vehemently homophobic and against same sex marriage, which I am totally for. I have a step daughter who is married to the most wonderful woman in the world and they have a delightful daughter who calls me "Nana Dee". These girls are together over 20 years, longer than many many heterosexual marriages. They are both scientists, both brilliant, both caring, loving parents.

David and Michelle both know about my step daughter and her female spouse. I made sure I told them and other than ask me what they did for a living, not a word was said. But I am sure they were shocked as hell! But then again, maybe not. Anything is possible from this Jewish illegitimate daughter of their beloved Ruth, who's father lived with a Madam of brothels for 7 years, then went to prison for tax evasion, and then to top it all off, blew his brains out when he returned home. I am the cousin they were looking for, and found, although I may not be exactly what they were hoping for.